Struggle of a soul

U know itz smtymes so weird in life..cant understand how do i stop myself of thinkin...
Jst yellin at ma loudest Voice to not hear ma scream goin on beneath..

So badly in a mess..not excited for a future..jst given up on life
Dnt want EMOTIONS,FEELINGS or any of dis crap...

Jst wanna walk down the path i see..wen i close my eyes..
itz dark in der..wd a cold Breeze passin by..cant see the other end
standing still at one side..
Der is a delight in that fear to know nothing is going alright..

with tears in ma eyes..tryn to mk maself fine..i show a fake smile..like d comfort is all the while
But whom am i kiddn..i jst wanna DIE or DISAPPEAR like i was never alive..
am i jst fuckin Lonely or need a pshychiatrist to treat my mind..

I just wana be in smother world..wer things are totally not alike
I need help from someone who can read my mind..n make me realise..
whatz store for me in life..

DEATH IS MORE PEACEFULL
LIFE IS TOO HARDER TO SURVIVE...

I'm not your Angel darlin...

Ive told u once,il say it again...
Ive got somethin hangin over  ma head..
I was layin on your shoulder perfectly consent...but u got me wrong all over again...

well i suppose u think im so flattered to hear..that i am a whisper conscious in your ear..
and datz exactly the reason that i never get to see u ma dear..

im not your Angel darlin..
i am never gonna be..

coz Angels are in the sky..n hv got no freedom to come down..
i thought u could love me like them..but i guess itz alrite..to believe itz yu....
who told me  your my Angel...

Confusion...

A confusion lingers my mind..not bout blogging but about my feeling..
i mean i have crazzy..mixed feelings..if i consider myself happie...
confused...do i get happie or satisfied?
will u be or not be...will the promises will turn out to be a lie..or will it get a smile...
Am i expecting or wishing..?
for everytyme i fall..i try to get my trust standing tall...so that i can have the pride
to choose the right guy...
but these shambling thoughts..ask me to take a while and decide.. coz confusions wont appear unless the TRUTH is all defined...
just hoping that the people who are close to my heart will reside ...Forever & Alwayz
as all this tyme..im just trying to keep u bit away..for the fear that i might loose your sight..

P.S: To live your desire if u want me to be there or disappear (like you never wanted to be there)

Sleepless

Hey...itz me..wriitin sm stuff..coz i can't sleep..ahmmm..im sure d tittle explains...

    have a habit of thinkin a lot..but cant let it out..so thought of bloggin !!! have been tryin to figure out the answers for some questions which neva leave ma mind...sometymes..somethings affect to you so much that you just cant live or feel any moment completely..the endings are alwayz bad..(i hate endings btw).
       u have preety good examples like break up (w8 im w8n for Break ke Baad movie)...or last year of school or college...leavin ure behaviour,ur friends etc...
       I miss somethings. .God i miss dem bad..! speakin of which..nybody who knows me has to know that i miss my Bestttesssssstttttttttt friend Payal Vaghela a lottttt....she means a world to me...n some special friends like Vinay Patil...Rohan Khurana...n d list goes by...
      Btw..talkin bout friends...i am inspired to start bloggin by my very good friend..miss.Nupur...(cute gal) and my Heroine Nausheen...
 now some intense stuff...
     I thought you were the one believed in me..
     coz your the reason i persuaded...i never believe i wud say that..you made feel the drops of the rain          eventhough it wasn't for real...
   knowing when im awake..you turned off the light..
   did u think that i was gonna be alright ?
   kicked out of your life..so Baby i hope i can sleep tonight...
  coz evrymornin i hope i can Talk and makes things Fine..

                                                                                               - ANGEL